It's pretty amazing the way life works.
I want to blog about my boyfriend. First I met him in high school when I turned 17. In fact it was at my 17th birthday party when I first met him. I had a slumber party for my 17th. You may think that's odd "what's a boy doing at a girls sleep over". Well, here's what happened.
My girlfriends and I were bored and decided to walk in town. My family lived in an apartment above a shoe store in the center of a very well-to-do "main line" town. We were not rich. Our family was rich with love and loyalty but not the cash flow. My mom raised the 5 of us on her own and insisted on giving us a good life. So anyway, as my girlfriends and I were walking past a bank we saw a car pulling up to an ATM at the bank in town but the driver was somewhat out of control. When he got out we instantly could tell he'd been drinking. I recognized him as the new boy from school.
This was still the beginning of the school year (Sept 1986) and I had just joined the group SADD (students against drunk driving). I told my girlfriends to distract him at the ATM as I reached in and took his car keys. When he walked back to his car and went to get in he became mad with the realization he's lost his car keys. I walked up to him and showed them to him but told him he wasn't getting them. Yes he was mad at first but then realized he was surrounded by girls. We made him come back to the apartment and told him we were going to make him coffee and feed him (to try and sober him up). We wound up chatting all night and that's how he wound up sleeping over (without my mom knowing). Later on she said she knew but I don't think she did.
Alex and I became instant friends but I secretly had a crush on him. Something inside me though made me keep it to myself because I didn't want to lose him as a friend if I told him I liked him. Things did move on and we become more but his heart was still back in IL where his family had moved from. He'd grown up there his whole life so he was broken when his dad's company moved to PA. He also had a girlfriend back home and he was torn between what he had in front of him and being loyal to her. I respected that. But not for long. I got the normal silly teenage girl thought of "if I give myself to him he'll pick me". I did just that. We were each others first and he was the perfect gentleman but somehow it still didn't feel right. My heart longed for us to be a serious couple without having a clue about what that really meant, I just felt it inside that he was "the one". For some reason though I could see he needed more of a friend because of how much he was hurting so I backed off. We agreed to stay friends and that we did. We went places together, talked on the phone for hours and even fell asleep on the phone together. I still had the strongest feeling of wanting to be close to him but I wouldn't allow us to cross the line again because my heart told me what he really needed was someone to be there for him. I don't know how I seemed so mature back then about the whole thing because if you knew what I was like after he and I lost touch and before we came back together you would swear it were two different people. It's too hard to explain.
I'm going to pause here for a second and I'll bring you up to speed on how we came back together in the next entry...
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